Want Happier Kids? Encourage Kids’ Kindness

Edited from Dave McGinn, Globe & Mail, & other Media Reports

Every parent wants their child to be happy and popular. There’s no magic formula...But a new study of Canadian kids has found that altruism might be the key. If you want preteens to be happy and well-liked, have them perform acts of kindness towards others.

Children who make an effort to perform acts of kindness towards others are happier and experience greater acceptance from their peers, suggests new research from the University of British Columbia and the University of California, Riverside.

Kindness Counts…

Kimberly Schonert-Reichl, Prof. in UBC’s Faculty of Education, and Kristin Layous, of the University of California, Riverside, say that increasing peer acceptance is key to preventing bullying. In their study titled, “Kindness Counts: Prompting Pro-social Behavior…” was published by PLOS ONE.

The researchers sought to boost happiness in students aged 9 to 11 years. 400 hundred students from Vancouver elementary schools were asked to report on their happiness and to list which classmates they’d like to work with on school activities. The children were divided into 2 groups. Half the students were asked by their teachers to perform acts of kindness – like sharing their lunch – and half were asked to keep track of pleasant places they visited – like the playground.

Kids in the first group were told to perform 3 acts of kindness each week for 4 weeks, e.g. hugging mom when she’s stressed or vacuuming the floor at home.

Kids in the 2nd group were instructed to visit 3 pleasant places each week for the same amount of time, e.g. a baseball game or their grandparent’s house.

Before & After

Before and after the study period, the students reported their life satisfaction, happiness, etc. They were given a list of classmates...and asked to circle other students who they’d “like to be in school activities with.” The kids were told they could circle as few or as many other kids as they liked.

Both groups said they were happier after the 4 weeks, but kids who performed acts of kindness selected more kids to work with on after-school activities, gaining an average of 1.5 friends. They gained a larger group of accepting peers, a bigger network of friends.

Doing Good benefits the Givers

Kindness towards others has its own rewards. “Our study demonstrates that doing good for others benefits the givers, earning them not only improved well-being but also popularity,” the authors wrote in the journal PLOS ONE.

The authors pointed out that boosting peer acceptance not only raises kids’ sense of well-being, it also reduces the likelihood of bullying. Plus, classrooms in which every kid is liked about the same as their peers have better average mental health than classrooms in which there are some favourite children and other, marginalized kids.

Encourage Kid’s Kindness towards Others

Given the results of the study and what’s known about the benefits of peer acceptance, the authors suggest kids should be encouraged to regularly help others. 3 acts of kindness per week was all it took to achieve the results. So encourage your kids to find opportunities to offer a helping hand to a classmate, even those who are not in their close group of friends. Talk to your kids about how simple efforts -- like helping to carry a load, sharing a special treat, or offering to listen when a classmate seems stressed -- outweigh the efforts with great returns in their own happiness and in their friendships with others.