The Danger of Asking God, "Why Me?"

By Timothy Keller 

When I was diagnosed with cancer, the question “Why me?” was a natural one. 

Later, when I survived but others with the same kind of cancer died, I also had to ask, “Why me?”

Suffering and death seem random, senseless. 

The recent Aurora, Colorado, shootings — in which some people were spared and others lost — is the latest, vivid example of this, but there are plenty of others every day: from casualties in the Syria uprising to victims of accidents on American roads. Tsunamis, tornadoes, household accidents - the list is long. 

As a minister, I’ve spent countless hours with suffering people crying: “Why did God let this happen?” 

In general I hear four answers to this question. Each is wrong, or at least inadequate. 

The first answer is “I guess this proves there is no God.” 

The problem with this thinking is that the problem of senseless suffering does not go away if you abandon belief in God. 

In his Letter from Birmingham Jail, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. said that if there was no higher divine law, there would be no way to tell if any particular human law was unjust. Likewise, if there is no God, then why do we have a sense of outrage and horror when suffering and tragedy occur? The strong eat the weak, there is no meaning, so why not? 

Friedrich Nietzsche exemplified that idea. When the atheist Nietzsche heard that a natural disaster had destroyed Java in 1883, he wrote a friend: “Two-hundred-thousand wiped out at a stroke—how magnificent!” 

Because there is no God, Nietzsche said, all value judgments are arbitrary. All definitions of justice are just the results of your culture or temperament. 

As different as they were, King and Nietzsche agreed on this point. If there is no God or higher divine law then violence is perfectly natural. 

The second response to suffering is: “While there is a God, he’s not completely in control of everything. He couldn’t stop this.” 

But that kind of God doesn’t really fit our definition of “God.” So that thinking hardly helps us with reconciling God and suffering. 

The third answer to the worst kind of suffering – seemingly senseless death – is: “God saves some people and lets others die because he favours and rewards good people.” 

But the Bible forcefully rejects the idea that people who suffer more are worse people than those who are spared suffering. 

This was the self-righteous premise of Job’s friends in that great Old Testament book. They sat around Job, who was experiencing one sorrow after another, and said “The reason this is happening to you and not us is because we are living right and you are not.” 

At the end of the book, God expresses his fury at Job’s ”miserable comforters.” The world is too fallen and deeply broken to fall into neat patterns of good people having good lives and bad people having bad lives. 

The fourth answer to suffering in the face of an all-powerful God is that God knows what he’s doing, so be quiet and trust him. 

This is partly right, but inadequate. It is inadequate because it is cold and because the Bible gives us more with which to face the terrors of life. 

God did not create a world with death and evil in it. It is the result of humankind turning away from him. We were put into this world to live wholly for him, and when instead we began to live for ourselves everything in our created reality began to fall apart, physically, socially and spiritually. Everything became subject to decay. 

But God did not abandon us. Only Christianity of all the world’s major religions teaches that God came to Earth in Jesus Christ and became subject to suffering and death himself, dying on the cross to take the punishment our sins deserved, so that someday he can return to Earth to end all suffering without ending us. 

Do you see what this means? We don’t know the reason God allows evil and suffering to continue, or why it is so random, but now at least we know what the reason isn’t, what it can’t be. 

It can’t be that he doesn’t love us. It can’t be that he doesn’t care. He is so committed to our ultimate happiness that he was willing to plunge into the greatest depths of suffering himself. 

Someone might say, “But that’s only half an answer to the question ‘Why?'” Yes, but it is the half that we need. If God actually explained all the reasons why he allows things to happen as they do, it would be too much for our finite brains. 

What we truly need is what little children need. They can’t understand most of what their parents allow and disallow for them. They need to know their parents love them and can be trusted. We need to know the same thing about God.