Parenting When Your Strength Is Spent

by Gloria Furman

I love the ESV’s subtitle for Psalm 71—“Forsake Me Not When My Strength Is Spent.”

How appropriate for a psalm that describes God as one who saves in his righteousness and is to us a rock of refuge!

This summer a doctor actually told me that my strength was “spent.” I visited an orthopedic surgeon to have him check out my lower back pain. I had leaned over to change a diaper and had my back freeze up a dozen too many times.

The doctor did his evaluation, took some x-rays, then he declared that my back was fine. It was just my strength that was “spent.”

“Dr. Candid,” as I shall now refer to him, said my back muscles were struggling to make up for my weak abs. Dr. Candid asked me when was the last time I had done abdominal exercises regularly.Um…?

“You’re not 20-something anymore. If you don’t do some sit-ups soon then you’re going to do more serious damage to your back.”

Golly—thanks? His advice was startling, but he was right.

Dr. Candid prescribed a regimen of core-strengthening exercises and some painkillers in case my back pain got worse. His advice helped—my muscles are stronger and my back pain is subsiding.

That day at the ortho’s office was a good reminder to me of how we never outgrow our need for the gospel, no matter how strong in our faith we feel at the time or how strong we seem to others.

None of us will ever outgrow our need for God’s moment-to-moment grace in the gospel, especially when it comes to parenting. I have never met a parent who feels like parenting is easy or that they’ve figured it all out.

Whenever I consider my own mother-ly-ness I feel like there are ways I can do more things for my kids, pray more consistently, and be more intentional to instruct them in the Lord’s ways. These good tasks can feel like burdens instead of joys if I let them.

A friend of mine who has kids in college likes to remind that while your physical strength is spent when your children are young, as the kids get older then your emotional strength is spent.

Whether you feel like you just can’t do it, you just don’t have it in you anymore, or you feel like you’ve got what it takes– the gospel triumphs over all.

Only God’s grace in the gospel can strengthen our faith to let Jesus carry our burdens in parenting.

One way to have your faith strengthened is to saturate yourself in the gospel. Talk to yourself and your kids about the brilliant perfections of God, his mercy in saving sinners through his Son’s death on the cross, and his commitment to keep us forever by sending us his Holy Spirit.

The gospel has relevance to your day today no matter how physically or emotionally strong you feel right now. Will you cast aside the rags of your self-righteousness and be clothed in the righteousness of Christ alone? Will you lean heavily on Christ for the strength you need?

“My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge. With the mighty deeds of the Lord GOD I will come; I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone. ” (Psalm 71:15-16)

“So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come. Your righteousness, O God, reaches the high heavens. You who have done great things, O God, who is like you?” (Psalm 71:18-19)